Question for the f-list

[draconis]

Okay, I freely admit that I may not fully understand all of "the rules" concerning kids and holidays, since I've never had kids, so I'm looking for some outside opinions here.

My stepsister had her second child back in October (firstborn is now 15), so the child is currently about 2 months old. Apparently, stepsister got her feelings hurt because I didn't buy any Christmas presents for the baby.

Honestly? It never even occurred to me to get anything for the kid. Her grandparents, etc. already give way more stuff than will ever be used, and it's not like a 2-month-old is even aware that anything is going on beyond, "I wish they'd quit putting that stupid thing on my head, it bothers my eyes."

Was I off-base on this one? Is it reasonable for her to expect The Munchkin to be included in the gift-giving process?

Comments

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Well... it probably would have been nice/polite of you to, since the kidlet's family. But kidlet won't remember. Presents at that age are more, IMO, for acknowleging kid as valued family member than any real practical gift-giving.

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

::nods:: I suppose it would have been nice/polite, at that.

[kickair8p.livejournal.com]

Due to good-but-still-hectic circumstances over the last third of the year, everybody on my gift-giving list got birdseed wreaths. Each of my step-brothers' children got their own miniature wreath, despite two of them being less than a year old and unlikely to get the whole bird-feeding concept. Last year everybody got mugs filled with home-made cheese spread or candy -- all the kids got the kind where you color an insert to customize your mug, including the kids who were too young to color or drink out of a cup that didn't have a sippy-lid.

Christmas gifts for a new baby are more for the parents than the baby, but they could easily be offended if the kid's left out.





~

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

LOL I'd almost be afraid that the kids would not only fail to understand the whole bird-feeding concept, but might try to eat the wreaths themselves!

Oh, well... lots of fiber... ::g, d, rlh::

[eponin10.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I've ever run across this issue before. My daughter was nearly a year old by the time Christmas came around. I suspect I would have bought something helpful for the parents; clothes, gift certificate to wal-mart for the child, etc., but no, nothing specific for the baby, as they certainly won't remember it.

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

RE: buying something helpful for the parents

I can definitely see that, except in this case both sets of grandparents are showering munchkin (and parents) with everything even vaguely baby-related.

Not to mention that since A) I'm male and therefore automatically clueless about infants ;-), and B) I've never really been around infants to any appreciable degree, I have no idea what sort of things would actually be helpful, and which things are there to look good to Infant-Clueless Male Relative so he'll spend money on it. ::g::

[eponin10.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Yeah, there is that. My in-laws (I have two sets) and my parents gave us so much stuff that even now, where Roo is nearly 5, we've bought very little in the way of clothing for her.

And to be honest? All those neat gadgets, etc. that are marketed to new parents... some of them work, some of them don't, and not every new parent agrees with which ones work, because every infant is different. Everyone swore up and down to us that a bouncy seat would calm an infant easy. Yeah, not so much for ours. *g*

That said, if we were already being showered with gifts from every other family member, I'm not sure I'd be all that offended at not getting something for my child from one person.

Also? Apologies if none of this makes sense. I've been up nearly 24 hours at the ER with the husband, who has just had his gallbladder removed. He's fine, will be home tomorrow, but I'm going to go pass out now. *g*

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

oh, my! I hope he's okay!

Yes, everything made plenty of sense, and by all means get some rest!

[eponin10.livejournal.com]

He's fine. Much better now. :) He was in a lot of pain the other night, though.

[shrewreader.livejournal.com]

Not unless she'd done something like drop lead hints of 'We're so looking FORWARD to Munchkin's FIRST CHRISTMAS!'

Otherwise?

You were fine.

Also. Remember -- if she's that grumpy and you want to get her off your back, you -do- have until Jan 6. :)

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

That was kind of my thought as well, but that seems to be a minority opinion.

More importantly, it's caused distress within the family.

[shrewreader.livejournal.com]

Ugh. That sucks.

[themouseketeer.livejournal.com]

As 'owner' of similar aged munchkin, I think I might have been a little upset, to be honest. It would have been nice to either give something practical (kind of for the parents) like clothes, or nice baby toilettries. Or something commemorative, for first Christmas. It's an acknowledgement that there's a new family member more than anything.

(As examples, we bought Alex some new dummies - which we think he WILL appreciate LOL; a story book; a Christmas tree ornament; and a 2007 commemorative coin set - which will arrive in the next week or so!)

[jcbdragon.livejournal.com]

::nods:: yeah, good point -- and as 'owner' of a similar aged munchkin, I'd say you've probably got the most directly-relevant input.

Drat.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate screwing up, especially where family is concerned?

Seems pretty clear that the consensus is that I erred, though, so now I get to try to figure out the best way to make up for it.

[shrewreader.livejournal.com]

Mouseketeer, love, please email me!! I was worried you'd dropped off the face of the earth.

TYK!!

Shrewlet