Back to the "scene of the crime"

[draconis]

Well, I went back to "the scene of the crime" this week.

At my request, my father, my wife and I went out into the woods to where I had turned a deer stand into an express elevator.

I have to say, it is a very moving experience to stand there and look at the place where you almost died.
The ladder is still in place against the tree trunk, and the stand was laying on its side (even mostly still intact) several feet away.

My plan had been to go up into that specific stand, to "get back on the horse," as it were. That specific "horse" obviously wasn't an option, but I did go up into one of our other stands that afternoon.

I'll be honest, it took me a while to get to sleep the night before, but I'm glad I did it.

I'm somewhat puzzled by reactions from people I've talked to about it. Yes, I pulled myself up off the ground after the fall, got back on the 4-wheeler, and drove myself back to the house. To me, it's simply what I *had* to do, so I did it.

I was talking with someone about "getting back on the horse," and they commented, "Wow, you REALLY don't do 'avoidance,' do you?"

If something unpleasant can be avoided as a long-term strategy, then sure, I'll go for that. This wasn't one of those things and I knew it, so I didn't try. Facing it, conquering it, was the only workable option... so that's what I did.

In both cases, there was something I *needed,* and no one else could do it for me. I won't claim they were pleasant or that I want to do either of them again, but the alternatives were clearly worse.

Thank you, to everyone who helped me get here -- my family, my friends, my teachers, my students. You've helped me physically to be able to survive what has been almost universally considered as a "death drop" (18-20 feet), and helped me build the strength of character to make myself do what had to be done.

Thank you, very much.

Comments

[draconis]

I need to send a special "shout out" to one person in particular, in regards to my last post about "getting back on the horse."

For those of you who don't know, "get back on the horse" was not a metaphor in my family when I was growing up - it was literal. We rode horses both for pleasure and to work with my grandparents' cattle, and we all took our fair share of tumbles, including a broken arm for me when I was 9. As you can imagine, getting told to "get back on the horse" happened quite a bit!

Thursday afternoon, I heard the echoes of several people telling me to get back on the horse, but for some reason one voice was louder than the others: my older sister, Melinda.

I don't know if historically she said that to me any more or less than anyone else, or if she just has a bigger mouth ;-)

Whatever the reason... thank you, to all of my family, and especially my big sis!

[raine]

I've thought for a long time that the difference between someone who picks themselves up in that kind of situation versus someone who expects help is the thought that anything less than going forward and doing is unthinkable. {{hugs}} ::raises a glass in toast::

[draconis]

::hugs you tightly and clinks his glass with yours::

Thanks, chica!

[ilyena_sylph]

Being raised with horses makes 'what you have to do' take on some rather different characteristics, doesn't it?

+sympathizes+

I'm just so damned glad you're gonna be okay.

[rhi]

His head's even healing up well!

[draconis]

On the outside, at least! ;-)

[senmut]

There was little hope for the inside? ;-P

[draconis]

Yeah, well... I figure I've used up my current allotment of miracles! lol

[draconis]

Yeah, it kinda does.

Thank you -- needless to say, I'm damned glad, too!

[killing_rose]

I am incredibly grateful you are healing up well and that you were able to get back up in a deer stand.

[draconis]

Thank you, K-R!

[devohoneybee]

*a big hug*
SO glad for your strength, your healing and your horse-getting-back-on skills. *g*

[draconis]

::hugs:: thank you!

[em_kellesvig]

I'm still at the "Ye gods, I'm so glad you're alive" stage so getting back up on the horse just seems like gravy at this point. Never mind my mixed metaphors; just let me hug you some more. (((HUGS)))

[draconis]

::hugs::

Okay, now you've got me picturing a horse covered in gravy, and that's just WRONG! LOL

[em_kellesvig]

I specialize in the oh, so wrong. As for the horses, don't ever eat fast food in Europe. O.o

[draconis]

I know you do, and that's just one part of why we love you so much! ;-)

[senmut]

You have a strength of will that I find lacking in many, and present in others but with different facets.

I can never seem to face/conquer/sublimate my own demons/fears/bad experiences for my own self. I have only ever overcome things like that by it being needed by someone else.

I respect you, sir, and will continue to admire you for your fortitude. Among other reasons.

[draconis]

Ye gods!

I can't even think of what to say to that, except obviously "Thank you!"